I learned in college...

I learned in college that….

The moment you decide you need to buy a plunger it is probably too late.
If you want clean clothes then you have to hoard quarters
You will go to class and find out you know nothing, then you pass the class and feel smarter until you start a new class and find out you still know nothing.
An emergency chocolate supply is not a “if I can fit into the grocery budget” kinda thing
Your whites and colors can to mix in the washing machine… most of the time (I learned this from the school news paper)
I can live without youtube and TV (cringe) I really can
Strangely themed parties and dances are a requirement example: starch dance
You get a free drink at Costa Vida with a student ID (SWEET)
You can sneak almost any food stuff into a movie theater. Including ice cream…just don’t forget spoons
You can buy sleeping and pep pills in the vending machines
That there are not instruction on the back of the refried beans can to tell you how to cook it them
That bad potatoes smell worse than cadaver lab
Turn the quiz paper over to look for questions on the back before you turn it in.
You may have to call you teacher Dr. so and so, but they still won’t know what to do when you pass out
That memorizing a Simpson’s episode takes me a half hour but memorizing historical facts takes me a week.
You can add fillers/nonsense words into your reference/bibliography list at the end of papers because no one really reads them.
If you wait to print something at the last minute then that is when the printer will stop working
It doesn’t matter what time of year it is something in your apartment is going to be decorated with Christmas lights
That your room will get so cold that icicles form on the blinds
That church business in a young adult ward is usually handled through text messaging
Not locking your door is the same as inviting the neighbors over.
That every-year I will have to replace half my kitchen things because somehow when your roommate moved out early half of it disappeared
By the time I get a bachalors degree I could have taken a two week tour of Europe with the money I spent on text books that most people don’t read
That most people don’t read the text book and that is why I am so dang slow at homework
Walkers are considered a fire hazard and will be moved so that the rest of the auditorium can get out saftely.

It is very exciting when you get a nice click-y pen or a cute colored notebook
If you use toothpaste to fill nail holes make sure that it doesn’t smell like mint or the seasoned landlord will know.
An anatomy/physiology class is more like a foreign language class
Sometimes you just have to go to the bathroom at school because you know there won’t be toilet paper at home
That as soon as you get brave enough to flirt with a guy you will probably find out he is married
When your cell phone rings in class it will take you 3 minutes to find it and one minute to get it to stop
If you want to kiss a stranger the school holds a party to accommodate you.
That you won’t die if you pass out and fall down old main hill….the trees will break your fall.
That packages from home will make your day even if your only two hours away
You shouldn't worry at the end of the year you will find all the food that you lost in the fridge…yuck