Birthday "Potty"

I am posting an English paper I had to write not because it is particularly good but because It is a favorite memory of mine plus dad was able to find the perfect picture to go with it. I am sure most of you have heard the story before though.


“No one’s getting cake until they do it.” Mom taunted. The Guests grinned. This is exactly what they would expect from my mother. I found a pair of underwear I approved of and tried to protect the rest of my unmentionables from the frantically searching guests. I had settled on 100% cotton, with magenta and green stripes. Tasteful, not too granny panty, but not anything a guy might whistle at. I fit them onto my head like a bandanna. I then helped the youngest pull her ponytail through the leg holes in her underwear. My brother Dominic had forced his unfortunately sized chin through the leg of some plaid boxers. The other leg hung off the side of his head like a flag. My cousin Jobba had found a disgusting pair of whitey-tighties, and wore them like a French beret. Mom of course, pulled her pig-tales through the legs of a thong.
Shockingly fast our “potty hat” clad guests were ready and waiting by the front door.
“One time around the block yelling it is a birthday potty!” Mom declared. She opened the door and literally leapt down the sun-soaked driveway.
“It’s a Birthday Potty” echoed off the peaceful streets. Our bare feet smacked the sidewalk in unison as we jogged. Our laughter was probably as loud as our yelling. I couldn’t help but giggle, even though the laughing was starting to make my sides ache. As our troop passed a group of my schoolmates I tried to avoid their bulging eyes, and pumped my legs a bit faster. “Hey mom,” I said, “next year how about a nice piñata.”